January 31, 2025

5 Practical Ways I’ve Reduced Stress as a Mom Running a Business

5 Practical Ways I’ve Reduced Stress as a Mom Running a Business

Stress Management for Working Moms: Simple Strategies That Actually Work

TD;LR

Admitting you don’t want to “do it all” is the first step to eliminating overwhelm. Accepting help isn’t about asking – it’s about saying yes when offers come, even for small tasks. Be specific with asks to avoid misunderstandings, and outsource tasks that drain your energy or steal time from what matters most. Remember, work’s “urgent” matters often aren’t. Let go of unnecessary pressure and prioritize what truly deserves your attention. It’s not that serious. Focus on what fuels you.

Admit that I don’t, actually, want to do it all.

The drive to be someone who ‘does it all’ is real. Our moms did it all, their moms did it all, the moms on Instagram do it all. There’s an innate level of achievement associated with ‘doing it all’.

Most people think that asking for help is where you need to start in order to eliminate the overwhelm. There’s actually a pre-step that I don’t think is acknowledged enough.

You must admit, and accept, that doing it all is not your goal. And the bigger piece: you have to actually mean it.

There’s so many times where we moms throw our hands up and say “why don’t you do it then” out of overwhelm, and then the guilt kicks in and we say, “just kidding, I don’t mind doing it. I’m a do-it-all-er.”

The problem here is that ‘the doing’ is infinite. Once you can accept that you’re not some supernatural force, the things you really don’t want to do are a lot easier to walk away from.

But if you’ve never actually admitted to yourself that you are OK with being someone who doesn’t do it all, then you’ll be stuck. Struggling in the cycle.

Say yes to help. (My spin on asking for help.)

If we’re being real, asking for help is a very difficult thing to do. It requires effort. Energy we don’t have. It’s uncomfortable.

What I’ve found to be a great alternative, though, is taking people up on their offers. This applies to the small offers, and the bigger ones.

For example, when someone goes to hold the door for us, or carry something for us, and we tend to say, “Oh I got it, thanks, though.”

But why do we do that? Why can’t we just graciously accept? I started accepting the small offers, and the big offers, and it has a positive snowball effect.

An example of something bigger would be when a friend says, “Let me know if you need anything!” We say, “Will do.” And we leave it at that.

But what if, next time, you said, “There is something I could use your help with. I’ve been meaning to find time to look up [service or product] and haven’t had the bandwidth. Do you have any recommendations? Would you ask around for me? I’d love to have something figured out by next week.” or “Honestly? I need a few ideas for my nephew’s birthday present. He’s turning 11. Any thoughts on that? Bonus if you want to send any Amazon links to look through!”

 … anything that’s not that big but feels kind of big.

You will be SHOCKED at how many people genuinely want to help. It brings them JOY. It gives them purpose. Makes them feel like a great friend. A selfish good deed!

And if they don’t want to… they just won’t. Not a big deal.

The other way this applies is when someone offers something bigger: to take the kids, to drop off a meal, to stop at the store, etc. We often say no to these things because we feel like we are burdening someone else. TRY SAYING YES. Just say yes… what’s the worst that could happen?

This is 10x easier than asking for help because you are being prompted to offload something.

I know you’re skeptical, but I dare you to try it.

Be clear with my asks and expectations

Now when I do take the leap to ask for help, I have learned to be hyper clear with what I am hoping for. This is especially important with your partner.

I would not say “Can you do the kids’ laundry?”

I would say, “The girls’ laundry hamper is full in Paige’s room. It would be helpful if you can do a load this evening. Can you please sort out the clothes from the blankets or towels? Please remember that the clothes need to be washed on cold and dried on the low temp or delicate setting. The best laundry soap to use is the one with the pink lid to the left of the machine.”

Yes, this is a lot to put out there. And no, it’s not going to work out perfectly the first time you do this. Not everything is remembered initially but over time it is because my ask/expectations remain the same.

If there’s an edit, I make sure to make that clear as well. “I know we usually use the soap that has the pink lid for their laundry but please use the one with the blue lid moving forward.”

It helps avoid questions that are ultimately going to overwhelm or annoy me. Not to say this type of approach creates a situation where the clarifications needed are also specific.

The goal here is to avoid making me feel that “I’ll just do it myself!” feeling. I need to be clear with my asks and vocalize my expectations. Otherwise, it’s almost certain that something won’t align and that “I’m the only one who can do it!” feeling remains.

That feeling is a lie. Look for places that you can provide specificity and clarity in your asks and start to recognize the shift in things being offloaded.

Another example just for fun.  I need to ask my father-in-law to do school drop off. I would say, “Hi, are you able to take Hailey to school in the morning? I will have her ready for 8am. David will pick her up at the end of the day. I will be going to the office tomorrow. I will leave here with Paige at 9:15am and text Linda when I leave.” 

It seems like a lot, but it gives the full-picture information of what the next day looks like, and leaves room for minimal back and forths.

Outsourcing

This is an obvious one but important to mention. I think people underestimate WHAT you can outsource. You can truly outsource anything. I understand that affordability can be a concern, and I completely respect the need to spend consciously. In my case, whenever I’m looking at outsourcing something the things I’m evaluating are:

  • How badly do I NOT want to do this?
    • This question is less about me being a diva and more about the fact that I know if I put that time/energy somewhere that I do want to, I’ll make up the money I’m spending.
  • How much money will I lose by doing this myself/ourselves?
    • This one’s a good one because it’s easy to ask, “How does the [service provider] cost?” but knowing that time is worth money and understanding my ‘hourly rate’ in life / my value, what I am really asking is if I’m actually losing money by not outsourcing it.
  • Where else will it ‘cost us’ by doing it ourselves?
    • If it’s going to cause a situation where we are losing time with our kids, cutting into any type of time that’s meant for our family in general, it’s got to be delegated. Can we put furniture together? Yes. Is that at all how we want to spend the only 2 hours of the day together we have? Absolutely not.

There are a few other ways that I look at outsourcing:

  • Sharing the wealth; providing a money-making opportunity for someone else. (great financial karma!)
    • I’m not the expert. Somebody else is way better at this task than me and can do it much better and faster. I’d rather an expert handle it than it be half-assed.
  • Showing my own time/energy respect. Time is so precious. When I outsource, I am making a statement about how much I value my time. This is a STANDARD I’m setting. This standard carries into so many areas of my life positively.

Examples of things I outsource (some regularly, some sporadically or as-needed):

  • House cleaning
  • Laundry folding + putting away / clothes organizing
  • Child assistance
  • Furniture building
  • Hair washing/blow drying [blow-outs]
  • House maintenance (projects that we won’t do well or will take a long time to complete if we are doing them ourselves. Ex: painting)
  • Car cleaning (get that baby detailed!)
  • Going to the store – if I can Instacart it, I do. This is also because I get overwhelmed in stores.

I have a new Executive Assistant starting (Feb 2025) which I am SO excited about. This list is going to be growing as she’ll be handling business and personal pieces. Stay tuned for what else I figure out how to offload!

Remembering that it’s not that serious.

We have a tendency to take work more seriously than it merits. That’s usually coming from some type of external pressure that we then internalize to make our own problem.

I’ve really had to consciously make the shift to recognizing that a lot of these ‘urgent matters’ are truly not urgent at all. And if I don’t get to it at this moment, sure, maybe somebody will be annoyed but what else? Does anything break? Does anyone die? I’m not saving lives… I’m working in influencer marketing. It’s not that serious.

People get over being annoyed. Business ebbs and flows; no matter how on top of everything or hyper-available you make yourself.

Making money is critical, yes. Being a high performer is important to many of us, yes. But at the end of it all there are truly only a handful of things that genuinely merit your full attention, your presence and your commitment.

Taking everything so seriously creates anxiety that ultimately gets taken out in another area of your life that really doesn’t deserve it.

It’s not that serious, babe. Let it go.

So much love xo

Stress Management for Working Moms: Simple Strategies That Actually Work

TD;LR

Admitting you don’t want to “do it all” is the first step to eliminating overwhelm. Accepting help isn’t about asking – it’s about saying yes when offers come, even for small tasks. Be specific with asks to avoid misunderstandings, and outsource tasks that drain your energy or steal time from what matters most. Remember, work’s “urgent” matters often aren’t. Let go of unnecessary pressure and prioritize what truly deserves your attention. It’s not that serious. Focus on what fuels you.

Admit that I don’t, actually, want to do it all.

The drive to be someone who ‘does it all’ is real. Our moms did it all, their moms did it all, the moms on Instagram do it all. There’s an innate level of achievement associated with ‘doing it all’.

Most people think that asking for help is where you need to start in order to eliminate the overwhelm. There’s actually a pre-step that I don’t think is acknowledged enough.

You must admit, and accept, that doing it all is not your goal. And the bigger piece: you have to actually mean it.

There’s so many times where we moms throw our hands up and say “why don’t you do it then” out of overwhelm, and then the guilt kicks in and we say, “just kidding, I don’t mind doing it. I’m a do-it-all-er.”

The problem here is that ‘the doing’ is infinite. Once you can accept that you’re not some supernatural force, the things you really don’t want to do are a lot easier to walk away from.

But if you’ve never actually admitted to yourself that you are OK with being someone who doesn’t do it all, then you’ll be stuck. Struggling in the cycle.

Say yes to help. (My spin on asking for help.)

If we’re being real, asking for help is a very difficult thing to do. It requires effort. Energy we don’t have. It’s uncomfortable.

What I’ve found to be a great alternative, though, is taking people up on their offers. This applies to the small offers, and the bigger ones.

For example, when someone goes to hold the door for us, or carry something for us, and we tend to say, “Oh I got it, thanks, though.”

But why do we do that? Why can’t we just graciously accept? I started accepting the small offers, and the big offers, and it has a positive snowball effect.

An example of something bigger would be when a friend says, “Let me know if you need anything!” We say, “Will do.” And we leave it at that.

But what if, next time, you said, “There is something I could use your help with. I’ve been meaning to find time to look up [service or product] and haven’t had the bandwidth. Do you have any recommendations? Would you ask around for me? I’d love to have something figured out by next week.” or “Honestly? I need a few ideas for my nephew’s birthday present. He’s turning 11. Any thoughts on that? Bonus if you want to send any Amazon links to look through!”

 … anything that’s not that big but feels kind of big.

You will be SHOCKED at how many people genuinely want to help. It brings them JOY. It gives them purpose. Makes them feel like a great friend. A selfish good deed!

And if they don’t want to… they just won’t. Not a big deal.

The other way this applies is when someone offers something bigger: to take the kids, to drop off a meal, to stop at the store, etc. We often say no to these things because we feel like we are burdening someone else. TRY SAYING YES. Just say yes… what’s the worst that could happen?

This is 10x easier than asking for help because you are being prompted to offload something.

I know you’re skeptical, but I dare you to try it.

Be clear with my asks and expectations

Now when I do take the leap to ask for help, I have learned to be hyper clear with what I am hoping for. This is especially important with your partner.

I would not say “Can you do the kids’ laundry?”

I would say, “The girls’ laundry hamper is full in Paige’s room. It would be helpful if you can do a load this evening. Can you please sort out the clothes from the blankets or towels? Please remember that the clothes need to be washed on cold and dried on the low temp or delicate setting. The best laundry soap to use is the one with the pink lid to the left of the machine.”

Yes, this is a lot to put out there. And no, it’s not going to work out perfectly the first time you do this. Not everything is remembered initially but over time it is because my ask/expectations remain the same.

If there’s an edit, I make sure to make that clear as well. “I know we usually use the soap that has the pink lid for their laundry but please use the one with the blue lid moving forward.”

It helps avoid questions that are ultimately going to overwhelm or annoy me. Not to say this type of approach creates a situation where the clarifications needed are also specific.

The goal here is to avoid making me feel that “I’ll just do it myself!” feeling. I need to be clear with my asks and vocalize my expectations. Otherwise, it’s almost certain that something won’t align and that “I’m the only one who can do it!” feeling remains.

That feeling is a lie. Look for places that you can provide specificity and clarity in your asks and start to recognize the shift in things being offloaded.

Another example just for fun.  I need to ask my father-in-law to do school drop off. I would say, “Hi, are you able to take Hailey to school in the morning? I will have her ready for 8am. David will pick her up at the end of the day. I will be going to the office tomorrow. I will leave here with Paige at 9:15am and text Linda when I leave.” 

It seems like a lot, but it gives the full-picture information of what the next day looks like, and leaves room for minimal back and forths.

Outsourcing

This is an obvious one but important to mention. I think people underestimate WHAT you can outsource. You can truly outsource anything. I understand that affordability can be a concern, and I completely respect the need to spend consciously. In my case, whenever I’m looking at outsourcing something the things I’m evaluating are:

  • How badly do I NOT want to do this?
    • This question is less about me being a diva and more about the fact that I know if I put that time/energy somewhere that I do want to, I’ll make up the money I’m spending.
  • How much money will I lose by doing this myself/ourselves?
    • This one’s a good one because it’s easy to ask, “How does the [service provider] cost?” but knowing that time is worth money and understanding my ‘hourly rate’ in life / my value, what I am really asking is if I’m actually losing money by not outsourcing it.
  • Where else will it ‘cost us’ by doing it ourselves?
    • If it’s going to cause a situation where we are losing time with our kids, cutting into any type of time that’s meant for our family in general, it’s got to be delegated. Can we put furniture together? Yes. Is that at all how we want to spend the only 2 hours of the day together we have? Absolutely not.

There are a few other ways that I look at outsourcing:

  • Sharing the wealth; providing a money-making opportunity for someone else. (great financial karma!)
    • I’m not the expert. Somebody else is way better at this task than me and can do it much better and faster. I’d rather an expert handle it than it be half-assed.
  • Showing my own time/energy respect. Time is so precious. When I outsource, I am making a statement about how much I value my time. This is a STANDARD I’m setting. This standard carries into so many areas of my life positively.

Examples of things I outsource (some regularly, some sporadically or as-needed):

  • House cleaning
  • Laundry folding + putting away / clothes organizing
  • Child assistance
  • Furniture building
  • Hair washing/blow drying [blow-outs]
  • House maintenance (projects that we won’t do well or will take a long time to complete if we are doing them ourselves. Ex: painting)
  • Car cleaning (get that baby detailed!)
  • Going to the store – if I can Instacart it, I do. This is also because I get overwhelmed in stores.

I have a new Executive Assistant starting (Feb 2025) which I am SO excited about. This list is going to be growing as she’ll be handling business and personal pieces. Stay tuned for what else I figure out how to offload!

Remembering that it’s not that serious.

We have a tendency to take work more seriously than it merits. That’s usually coming from some type of external pressure that we then internalize to make our own problem.

I’ve really had to consciously make the shift to recognizing that a lot of these ‘urgent matters’ are truly not urgent at all. And if I don’t get to it at this moment, sure, maybe somebody will be annoyed but what else? Does anything break? Does anyone die? I’m not saving lives… I’m working in influencer marketing. It’s not that serious.

People get over being annoyed. Business ebbs and flows; no matter how on top of everything or hyper-available you make yourself.

Making money is critical, yes. Being a high performer is important to many of us, yes. But at the end of it all there are truly only a handful of things that genuinely merit your full attention, your presence and your commitment.

Taking everything so seriously creates anxiety that ultimately gets taken out in another area of your life that really doesn’t deserve it.

It’s not that serious, babe. Let it go.

So much love xo

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